my first concern when beginning this project was the possibility of getting bored and finding ways to procrastinate or change my concept. luckily that has not happened and at this point in the progress i doubt i will ever get bored. two things happened that i did not expect. the physical and mental exhaustion. it seemed like a simple task, just cut and roll paint skin, and it is if i were only making a couple hundred. but thats not the case. i need several thousand, and i go into periods of making several hundred with little breaks. the pain that extends from my fingers up to my wrist was unimaginable for such a simple task. the mental part should have been known but i ignored the possibility. making thousands of these begins to play with your mind and question everything. by everything i mean the creation of the cylinders, the purpose of the entire project, the thesis, the purpose of my career choice of becoming an artist, and whether i will look back in fifty years and acknowledge the importance if this time and not the opposite and regret it all and realize that i spent thousands of hours rolling up paint skin.
to my first love,
from the moment i pulled the first print i knew we were meant to be. my only desire was for more. it was the act of creation that intrigued me most. it was you who influenced the way i approached other mediums. no matter how laborious the process, love and compassion were to be taken into consideration. i then selfishly abandoned you, taking the knowledge you bestowed upon me to explore other interests. I want you to know, during this time there wasn't a moment that i didn't think about you. all i wanted was to come back, but i had nothing to offer you, nothing, except for what you had given me. so here i am now. asking to be part of your world, again. offering my time to make every moment unique.
how many cylinders have i made? does it really matter? i guess it must if it's a recurring question. well i dont really know. i dont think i care to ever know the exact count, an estimate will forever be sufficient. to my estimate i will have what i need for the thesis show in a couple weeks, everything after that will possibly be for gifts/invitations.
the room installation will be titled, "the white painting" and the rolled up paint skins on the shelves will be either "the sculptural painting" or "sculptural painting (the marks i see)"